Last week I shared how I plan my day and prioritize the things I want to accomplish. That’s all well and good for the productivity side of things and making sure I’m focused on the right stuff. But I was recently introduced to a powerful question, “How do I want to show up?” So much additional thought work when you look at the day this way.
This question has two sides: optimistic and interventional. When I have something special to look forward to, I ponder how I want to show up. Spending time chatting with Mom friends at my kids’ sporting events instead of being on my phone, being fully present with my husband at date night and talking about things other than my work or the kids, being fully engaged with my parents on the rare occasion I get to spend some time with them and it’s just the three of us.
On the flip side, “How do I want to show up?” is powerful for difficult situations or tough conversations. Think of a conflict with your partner, a guiding conversation with your preteen, a colleague that’s not meeting expectations. This is a good time to center on who you want to be and think IN ADVANCE about how your best self will show up – for the critical moments and for the little moments in life that add up.
What’s really interesting is that thinking this through, in advance, heads off a lot of pressure. Because, honestly, we control a lot less of our relationships than we might think. We can always choose kind words, but how situations are interpreted is entirely up to the other person. When we show up well, we can take pride in knowing that we were intentional and congruent and showed up with integrity – no matter the outcome.
I challenge you to try this approach. Spend a minute each day thinking through the most important interaction you’ll have in the day, be it a zoom call with colleagues, the welcome home moment with your partner, bedtime tuck-in for your child, or any other critical moment in your day.
KNOW HOW YOU'LL SHOW UP.
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I founded Mom Mastermind to create the coaching and community that I desired when I was advancing my career. During my time with a large consulting firm and as Senior Vice President and CFO for a large company, I craved a network of women in similar life stages to learn from and connect with. We bring indivdiual working moms together to connect, lift each other up and propel one another forward as we redefine joy in career AND motherhood.
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