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Margie Meier
Litigation Attorney
The Rudnicki Firm
Industry - Legal
A Little Bit About Our Family
My husband and I don't live close to either side of our families, so we have had to figure out how to manage everything going on with the kids as well as our careers (which have relocated our family a couple of times) independently. One of our children has a severe nut allergy that we have to monitor closely, which impacts our daily life activities and the kids are involved in activities that keep us busy. Fortunately, all of our children attend school in-person and were learning in-person last school year. That being said, I am still mostly concerned about the health and safety of my children amid the pandemic.
A Lot Can Change Over Time
I was a remote worker before it was the cool thing to do! I moved to being a remote attorney in 2016. I work from home and travel to court, my firm’s main office, and all over the country for clients, as needed. I am somewhat nervous about traveling again for work and fun, but the fact that I am vaccinated has tempered that some. In general, I always feel like I am doing “all the things” but during quarantine that was definitely tested with me serving as mom, teacher, lawyer, wife, chef, and friend for my family.
As I have navigated my career and motherhood, there have been some family, friends and certain co-workers that have offered support, but if I am being totally honest, I have mostly felt alone and uncertain and done my best to combat that with my own drive and resiliency.
Balancing Career and Motherhood
I think “balance” is a misnomer for what working moms do and are trying to do. Frankly, its unrealistic and an unfair expectation of moms. Are dads asked how they balance their career and fatherhood? I know my own husband has never been asked that question. I would venture to say that most dads haven’t either. We need to get to a place where we say it's okay to do what is best for you and your family. So what if you’re not head honcho at your job and so what if you are. So what if you’re the head of the PTA and room mother each year, and so what if you’re not. You do you. Have I made “sacrifices”? I would say no. Have I made changes that were needed for me, my family, and my career? Absolutely. Was it uncomfortable? Of course. Did some people judge me for leaving a law partnership at a fancy law firm and joining a smaller firm? Probably. Do I care? Nope. But, it took time to get to where I stopped caring about what others thought was best for me and being comfortable with doing what was best for me.
As I have navigated my career and motherhood, there have been some family, friends and certain co-workers that have offered support, but if I am being totally honest, I have mostly felt alone and uncertain and done my best to combat that with my own drive and resiliency.
We need to get to a place where we say it's okay to do what is best for you and your family.
Final Thoughts
It hasn’t always been easy. There have been times in my life where I have felt like a complete failure as a mom and wife and the same is true as a lawyer. But, I think it helps your family to see the real you and learn how to support each other on our best and worst days and everything in between. We’re a tight-knit crew!
If I think about what could have helped me through the years, there are three things that come to mind.
- A community of women going through a similar situation to relate to and connect with
- Guidance & support on how to handle both the priorities at home and at work
- Tools to better equip me to perform at my best
I think less judgment and more support, all around, would have been great. But, a network of other moms to help juggle all the things to help “make it work” would have been ideal. Over time, I have developed that network but it took work and stepping outside of my comfort zone to do it. I had to get used to asking for help, which was a foreign concept for my “I can do it all!” personality.
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